Finally, we find out who's responsible for keeping Graig Cooper from looking like Rice Krispy Treats and Jacory appropriately swag'd thanks to Matt Wallach of The Miami Hurricane: it's team barber Steven Rivera of Get RIGHT Kutz. The only career Lance Leggett ever launched!

If you thought "U Swag" looked difficult, check the Ibis kut on Jordan Futch and Mike James' 863:

Fact: our team's barber is better than yours.

In ESPN's Week 6 Bowl Projections, both Mark Schlabach and Bruce Feldman have UM at the Fiesta. Schlabach says Ohio State, which would be nice, because holy hell I'd love to take that rematch. Even with one quarterback and half a defensive line out with injury.

The Miami Herald -- oh, excuse me: Bikini Bottom Times (no, it really does say that) -- officially kills all SpongeBob references with the stupidest thing ever written. As someone who specializes in writing pointless things, I know from bad.

More hair news, because we can: Jason Fox says the dreads make Travis Benjamin "look like Jar Jar Binks."  TB3 will no doubt counter with a link.

FAMU's halftime show included the spelling of CANES. Luh you back, Rattlers.

Randy Shannon says Rivals can take their "slow recruiting" stories and shove 'em:

Everybody in the state recruits different players. Coach (Urban) Meyer at Florida recruits different players than us. You have to go on what your offense and defense can do. That's the one thing that's great about all the schools in the state of Florida - nobody's looking on the Internet saying, `Here's a high rated guy.' Everybody's going for what they need. Everybody's different. Some teams aren't going to look for a tight end or fullback. Some schools in the state of Florida will. Some guys aren't going to take a drop-back quarterback. Some guys in the State of Florida will. It's always different.

Slow news weekend. Let us dance: