So it's cancer of the tongue, then Eugene Marve continues to blame Miami for global warming, poverty, Oprah, genocide, and his son remaining programless. It certainly can't be that Young Marve's GPA is so bad he's taking a semester of classes at a nameless local university in order to be eligible for admittance at even the most accepting schools, or anything like that. Nope. It's sabotage.

Eugene claims Oklahoma State told him they stopped recruiting his son because of negative feedback from the Hurricanes, which UM denies (likely true, because Bill Young is DOWN THE HALL AT OSU NOW). ''Robert was very hurt.'' According to pops, Michigan, UCLA, Oklahoma, Purdue, Texas Tech and USF are still in the running to find out that "negative feedback" means "true facts."

Clue in, Mr. Marve: to everyone but yourself you sound like Charlie Brown's teacher.

...and this would be our Linus Strong safety Jared Campbell plugs along in the shadow of older brother Calais.

Defensive line drops balls Position coach Clint Hurtt says that a year under their belts has the defensive linemen puffed out like rice. "I haven't seen this much swagger since 2001 or 2002, he said after practice. "The kids are now coming into their own. The personalities are starting to show. It was hard last year with them being so young. Now, they know to expect. Until they got into the fire, they didn't know what to expect. It's hard to be yourself when you're still trying to be comfortable in the situation you're in. They've been through it, and now they know.

"Last year you would ask them a question," Hurtt said. "They would know the answer, but wouldn't trust it. They were so nervous and needed to loosen up. Now, when they answer they got jokes and wisecracks. It's like I ask a question, and they're like, 'What, are you stupid?"'

It's hard to type through tears of joy.  My trackpad's all slippery.