Wherein We Actually Talk About Football -- Somewhere Else

how do you edit out an “asshole bingo” reference?

the asshole bingo spliced out of it?

Is Randy Shannon on the hot seat?
he’s on the hot seat to make a bowl game, no doubt. but anyone who has seen miami’s schedule knows we open the season at #19 FSU, home against #13 Ga.Tech, at #7 Va.Tech, and home against #2 Okl. so nobody has any misgivings about starting the season 4-0. now tell us some more about how the SEC’s schedule is soooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo hard.
 
Will the temperature be turned up or dialed down at the end of this season?
if, after those first four games, they somehow don’t regroup and bring the fury of god down on the UCFs and Clemsons and Wakes, then yes, the alumni club will be handing out complimentary pitchforks & torches outside joe robbie on saturday mornings

How much confidence do you have in Jacory Harris to lead this Miami team an ACC title?
the ‘unwaivering, unflinching, blindly loyal, would follow him through the gates of hell’ kind

What kind of changes on offense will we see with new OC Mark Whipple?
a guy i went to law school w/ played QB for coach whipple at brown. he tells me that coach whipple loooooooves him some run and shoot, & has a variation on it called the “whiplash” (no backs, just wr’s & blockers). he also called him a “strategic genius”. that said… my so-called inside source was also the default center square on everyone’s “asshole bingo” card, so the aforementioned statements should probably be taken w/ a grain of salt. plus… while miami has wr’s and rb’s coming out the wahzooo, we’re pretty much f*&ked at tight end. hopefully the change that coach whipple, the “strategic genius”, brings, will be to find a way to get the ball to our playmakers without the luxury of pass catching, crack backing, mean motherf*&ker at tight end ready to open a few holes.
 

Same goes for the defense under John Lovett?
what kind fo changes will the defense see under coach lovett? hmm… hopefully the kind that involves our cover corners not getting pushed around by bigger, stronger wr’s like they did most of last season. in their defense, brandon harris was a true freshman and DVD apparently never got the memo that last yr was supposed to be his breakout season. my spidey sense tells me that the front 7 will be the most impressive aspect of this team, and the first unit to regain the old miami swagger. in fact, i just got hard thinking about marcus forston and allen bailey lighting people the f*&k up this fall. hopefully the change coach lovett brings will be finding ways to set them loose on a more consistent basis.

I think the biggest position drop off recently for Miami has been on the o-line; With three starters back will we see the Miami line win the battle of the trenches this year?
much like our cover corners, the O-line has nowhere to go but up. unfortunately, we still lack a big bruising tight end and our fullback is 5’8 260. so we’re a ways off from the days when kenny D’s sweet snow white cheeks went the better part of 2 yrs without touching grass, but jacory will have much better protection than he did last season

The Hurricanes D ranked last in ACC play against the run in ‘08. Who are the players who need to step up to improve the run defense?
i’ll wager my entire next yr’s salary that, barring injury, this fall you will see marcus forston and allen bailey do that thing where they strike down with great vengeance and furious anger those who would attempt to cutback and find holes to slip through. and you will know our name is the U when they lay their vengeance upon thee

Who are the impact freshman (redshirt and true) this year for the Canes?
ray ray
p.s. bryce brown likes cock

The first four games are brutal. What is the likelihood of Miami starting the season 0-4?
long as we beat florida state, there shall be no rebellion

Where do you Miami’s ACC and overall record at the end of the regular season?
5-2 in the ACC/ 9-3 overall is realistic. lofty, but realistic. long as we beat florida state, 4-3/8-4 will stave off talk of mutiny. anything less than 8-4 and it’s pitchforks and torches